Pr. Michelle Sevig
Seventh Sunday after Epiphany
February 23/24, 2019
Forgiveness is Freedom
I’ll never forget a conversation I had with my mom one sunny afternoon on our back porch. I don’t remember exactly what I said, or why I even brought it up in the first place, but I do clearly remember her emphatic response.
“We’re supposed to ‘forgive and forget’ Michelle! Why are you dwelling on the past? He’s not like that anymore.”
Forgive and forget. Maybe you’ve heard that too at some point. Maybe you’ve even said it yourself. But I call B.S.
We’ve all suffered in life, it’s true, but the thought of forgetting the wrongs I’ve faced seems offensive to me. How could forgetting help? And how is it even possible? To me, the alliterative phrase, “forgive and forget” is more of a romanticized sentiment than actual helpful life advice. Forgive and forget might smooth things over a bit, but it doesn’t do much for healing or amending wrongdoing.
So what can this preacher say about forgiveness when she still struggles to forgive deep hurts from the past; and often finds that she’s not able to forgive herself either?
The scriptures assigned for today are about (you guessed it...) forgiveness.
- From the reading in Genesis, Joseph forgives his brothers, even though he has endured a lifetime of suffering because of their actions. (Quick Bible refresher...his brothers ridiculed him, threw him in a pit, sold him into slavery, then told their dad that he was dead. Joseph was imprisoned, but eventually became a trusted leader for the Pharoah.) After all that, he forgives his brothers and actually finds a way to see good come out of evil.
- And from Psalm 37, paraphrased in our hymn, “Do not fret when wrong succeeds, refrain from anger, turn from hate”
- And finally in the Gospel of Luke, Jesus continues his sermon on the plain with teachings that are so countercultural they should be shocking to us. Jesus says ‘love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, forgive as you have been forgiven.
Ugh!
That’s exactly opposite of how we operate. We’re more likely to hold grudges for small offenses, hate those who are not kind to us, and curse out anyone who does not agree with my point of view. Or maybe that’s just me. 😊
But on the other hand, this reading from Luke is a dangerous text and has been misused in the past, especially in the church. It became a word preached to slaves to keep them in their place. Jesus’ words have been used to actively encourage people to stay in abusive relationships and environments. We’ve been taught to keep silent about our pain (both personal and systemic injustices) and look the other way. Forgive and forget.
I can’t do that. I don’t want to do that. But before I start saying what I can’t or won’t do, perhaps I need to say clearly what forgiveness is not.
- Forgiveness is not the same as denial. Forgiveness isn’t pretending that the offense doesn’t matter. Or that the wound doesn’t hurt.
- Forgiveness is not a detour or shortcut. Yes, the Christian tradition teaches us to forgive. But first we are called to mourn...lament...name the injustice.
- Forgiveness is not instantaneous. It’s a process--often lengthy, messy and complicated.
Forgiveness is freedom.
Nadia Bolz-Weber, a Lutheran pastor and public theologian, shares her take on forgiveness and says, “If we’re not careful, we can actually absorb the worst of our enemy and on some level, even start to become them. So what if forgiveness, rather than being like a pansy way of saying, it’s OK, is actually a way of … saying ‘What you did was so NOT okay that I refuse to be connected to it anymore.’ Forgiveness is about being a freedom fighter, and free people are dangerous people. Free people aren’t controlled by the past. Free people laugh more than others. Free people see beauty that others do not see. Free people are not easily offended. Free people are unafraid to speak truth to stupid. Free people are not chained to resentments.”
Dear siblings in Christ, we are called to live in this kind of freedom. Free to love when it doesn’t make any sense, free to laugh and find joy in the present, free to delight in God’s beauty that surrounds us, free to speak out and stand up to injustices, and free to live a countercultural life embraced by Jesus’ radical love for us.
To forgive does not mean we condone what was done to us. To forgive does not mean we deny justice. To forgive means to refuse to let what happened destroy us and alienate us from God and from one another. It demands hard work and vigilance, but it is the way to life and discipleship and to God.
Henri Nouwen writes, “Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly, and so we need to forgive and need to be forgiven every day, every hour increasingly. Forgiveness is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family.”
We come together in community to practice love, even though we often do it poorly. We confess to God and each other the things we have done and the things we have left undone, that we have not loved with our whole heart and we seek forgiveness and strength to live with the great extravagant love that we receive from God. And in God’s great mercy we are forgiven.
This morning, we’re invited to eat a small piece of bread and drink a small sip of wine, tangible visible signs of God’s grace, and as we eat and drink we are forgiven. Set free to go and do the same great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family.
When we cannot love our enemies or love at all times; when we can’t bless or pray for those who have hurt us, when we judge and condemn, Jesus calls us close to himself, just as Joseph did to his brothers, and whispers, “You needn't be paralyzed by your fear or guilt any longer. I was sent by God to give you life and to be the bread of life for you. Be free and know that I will never forget you.”